Are You Falling into These Confidence Traps? How to Dig Yourself Out Gracefully

February 26, 2014

Toothy BeartrapThere’s something about this time of year, where we’re at the tail end of winter, far enough away from the new year where all those shiny new years resolutions and  goals have lost their momentum, but not quite to the spring has sprung surge that awaits us in late March/early April.

Something about right now really tends to bring up the “What am I dong?” and “Am I doing this right?” and it’s a huge torpedo for your business.

Because yes, a lot of your business success and growth will come through action, but it’s all driven by the mental game.  If you’re not feeling confident and sharp in your skills, you’re unlikely to make the amount of sales you know you could be, which only takes you further down these confidence killing traps.

The good news is there are some graceful, simple fixes to pull your leg out of these confidence killing bear traps.  As much as I hate to hear it sometimes, we really are in control of our interactions and the way we react to the world around us.  If something is making you crazy, or insecure, or sending you into a spiral of self-doubt, there are some things you can do about it!

Confidence trap numero uno: spending all your time obsessing about other peoples work instead of your own.  

Oh my, isn’t it easier to obsess about everyone else’s work instead of buckling down and doing your own?  I know I can get stuck in this vortex, and it’s just about the worst thing I can do for my mental health and business growth.   These are some of the biggest time sucks and blocks for business owners.  By focusing too much on other people’s business, you loose focus on your own, and detach from your own creativity and power.  You get a whooping case of comparision-itus and that can lead to a crisis of confidence.

Symptoms of comparision-itus include thinking or saying the following things:
But why didn’t I think of that?
Why isn’t my business that big yet?
Her list is HOW big? Mine will never get there.
I wish I could do something like that.
It should have been me. 

Graceful fix: unsubscribe to any newsletters/blogs/magazines that suck you in and make you feel like you have a case of comparision-itus setting in.  Sometimes we still want to receive the info or be in the loop, but we don’t want it pinging in our inboxes at all hours.  You can set up a special folder to bypass your inbox, so you go check it when you feel grounded and ready.  Or create a separate twitter list, and go click links when you feel up for it.

And of course, block facebook or whatever part of the internet you need to.  Self Control App is a great way to help you, help you.

Confidence trap numero dos: playing the numbers game


eehighlightreelThere are loads of places you can go online to figure out how much other people are making.  Paying too much attention to how much other people earn is a TOTAL confidence killer.  It’s also pretty unfair because sure someone can say they make 6 or 7 figures (sounds nice right!) but unless you’re their accountant, you have no idea what amount is actual profit, and how much blood sweat and tears went into it.

It’s so easy to fall into the numbers trap, and it messes with your head, because all it does is make you obsess about how much you’re NOT making, instead of the amazing impact you ARE creating. 

Graceful fix: say it with me now “Don’t compare your behind the scenes to someone else’s highlight reel”.  You have no idea what they went through, lost or fought for to make that money, and it’s unlikely they’re sharing the entire story.  Let it go, focus on your own impact and creating value in the world.  And keep saying that phrase to yourself for as long as it takes until it sticks.

Want a great take on what it takes to make 6 figures? This article by my girl Sally Hope is so good, I wish I’d written it.

Confidence trap numero tres: not giving yourself credit for your wins/successes/victories 

This one is a DOOZY.  I know you’ve been there, working SO HARD, and every time something good happens to you along the way you think “what’s next?!”

This is one of the worst things you can do for your mind, spirit and business, because it conditions you to tune out the good.

If you’re not taking it in, appreciating the amazing things coming your way, you’ll essentially train yourself out of feeling the GOOD and the AMAZING, and appreciating yourself for all the hard work you’ve been doing.  You’ll then keep working hard in pursuit of that dream/goal/achievement, but you’ll be numb to the results and burnout right quick, because you’re not getting the celebration/appreciation recharge that you seriously need.

And my personal philosophy is if you keep not accepting the amazing things, the universe will notice, and send you less of them  So appreciate what you’ve go, earned, created or manifested.  You’ve worked hard for it!

And lastly, define your own version of success.  If you don’t know what success, winning, or the GOAL of all of this is for you, you’re always going to be feeling self-conscious and unclear.  So be sure to take some time to really figure out for you, in your own unique life, what’s the point, why you’re doing this, and what success looks like.  Because knowing what the goal is, and walking towards it, is a total confidence booster.

Ellen_ErcoliniNeed that sweet clarity to boost your confidence? I can help. I’m Ellen, Money Making Expert.  I help creative business owners make more money and revolutionize their businesses.

It’s my mission to help you boost your bottom line and start really creating the opportunities you want for yourself.  Ready to find out what’s possible when we work together? Book your power sesh here.  20 minutes, you and me, totally free.

Go for it! In fact, if you have ANY doubt that you might not be going in the right direction in your business, all you need is one session with Ellen.  She’s not only extremely business-savvy and able to come up with innovative, creative and totally ON FIRE ideas quick-as-all-hell, her razor-sharp wit and relaxed demeanor made the whole session feel like I was talking to a (super–smart) BFF.” – Erica

Put more you in your business

(regardless of your myers-brigg)

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