I quit my job a year ago, but I’m actually leaving- as in no more paychecks- next month. I work(ed) at a non-profit, a very small, very meaningful one. Isn’t that how it always goes? We tell ourselves “The work! It needs me! My company, they’d be lost without me!” And we talk ourselves out of doing what’s right for us. Well, in this case, it was true, and my boss made me a very generous offer to stay on part time “as long as you need to.”
For a single, Oakland dwelling, dog-owning, small business starting lady who has never NOT had a full time with benefits job, it was a very attractive offer.
Well, there’s the dilemma. As a new business owner, or soloprenur as the term was coined, I can pretty much always use the extra, stable, predictable income. It makes my heart less stressy. However, there’s the spirit to consider, and my spirit is CRAVING full time MEployment (ehh? New internet lingo term, born right here folks). So when you look at it like that, there’s really no dilemma at all. I love my days working from home, making things happen…or sometimesnot. Sometimes I’m remarkably unproductive, and that’s cool. It’s my choice, and often my need. Somehow procrastinating my own stuff feels more meaningful to me then spinning my wheels for someone else. But mostly I’m productive. Mostly I work really hard to build my business, hone my craft (and learn new ones!) generate client leads, and create opportunity for myself. I’m in a constant state of learning and inspiration, and I freaking LOVE it.
As a life coach, I coach my clients every day about stepping into their dreams and making their life work for them. I frequently tell them “We’re all so unique! Everyone’s answer to life is going to be different.” Now I’m walking my talk, alternating between being radiantly glowing, and nauseous about it. The nausea is a good thing. It’s how I know I’m on the right path, doing what scares me, because it matters.
I’ve got a very flimsy deadline when the steady paychecks will end. If I wanted to, I could extend my employment with them, and maintain some sense of financial stability in my life- butI don’t want to. I want to machete hack my own path. I want keep doing what I know, on a cellular level, is my calling. I’ll take the stress of the unknown, because I know I’m right where I need to be.
I’ll be chronicling my journey here – offering insight on what it’s like to lose those steady paychecks, what the most helpful steps have been to make it happen, and how terrifyingly delightful it feels to be running my own show.
Image from URL.