We’ve all got it. It happens all the time. Fear grabs hold of us, gets in our brains, and generally tries to run the show. It convinces you it’s RIGHT about EVERYTHING and should generally be left in charge.
Fear & Love are the two great motivating forces in life. There are about a billion quotes and essays about this, but my favorite is by John Lennon himself:
“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.”
Fear makes us small, we take up less space, take less risks, and generally confine ourselves. Love is expansive. It gives us the strength to jump, to try, to grow ourselves.
This doesn’t mean that fear is always bad or wrong. It’s not the Darth Vader of feelings. But itdoesmean you need to be really careful with it. You can’t leave it unsupervised because that’s how Anakin turns into Vader.
What to do with fear:
Start recognizing when what you’re saying or thinking is true, or a super scary thing Fear is trying to make you believe.
Here’s an example: “I am afraid if I am my true self, people won’t like me.”
Is this fear or truth? Fear! It’s telling you “Stay small. Stay hidden. You’re real self is so terrible and unloveable you’ll be friendless and loveless forever!”
Truth, or real life is “Yeah,somepeople might not like you. That’s the deal. But the ones who do will love you so fiercely, just for being you.”
Choose to send fear to the backseat. Come up with something powerful to say or do to remind yourself that you are not your fear. You are an amazing, capable & powerful. Remind yourself of that. When fear kicks in, we tend to forget who we are. Remind yourself.
Ask yourself to choose from Fear or Love. Especially when it’s something scary and epic, would you rather choose from Fear, or Love? This is not always easy. Sometimes we need to sit in fear for a while before Love finally is like “enough is enough!” The more you can make that transition a choice – and it is, it’s just a muscle to be strengthened – you’ll feel more expansiveness enter your life.
Don’t let Anakin become Darth Vader. Shower that love like the fate of the galaxy depends on it. Because your galaxy does.
Ellen Ercolini is a Career and Life Coach dedicated to helping you figure our your life passion and purpose, so you can have the profession (and profits!) you want. Curious how she can impact your life? Schedule your free superhero session with her here.