Recalibrate Your Dreams: a How-To Guide

Sometimes things don’t work out like you think they’re going to.  Truth.

Circumstances change. Projects evolve. Things get re-imagined halfway through.  On the way to the movie you decide to stop for dinner, and the dessert looks so good you say, ‘screw it movie!’ And spend the night enjoying the restaurant.  That’s a small scale example – but a pretty clear change-of-plans aka metaphor for your dreams.

In my case, I am writing a book.  It’s been a Big Dream of mine forever and I am walking towards it.  My book is attached to a Big Idea of mine (see: Find Your Daily Yes).

My sister accused me the other day of being ‘very community and process oriented’.  When she said it she was making fun of me.  It’s also the total truth.

So I’ve got this Big Dream and Big Idea all mixed up in one project – so I did the only thing my community and process oriented heart knew how to do – I invited some of my smartest friends over for dinner, and asked them to look at my project and tell me what I was missing.

Boy did they see things! So many things, that I had missed.  It’s great to have such smart friends.  They are really helping shape this project in big, unexpected ways.  Their input also made me go into deep self-protection-hibernation-mode, because it became clear during our conversation that I had some MAJOR recalibration to do around my project.

It’s a lot, and it can be hard.  It can also set you free.  No matter what part of the realizing-your-dreams process you’re in, here’s a how-to guide to help you navigate.

Get clear on what you actually want.
In my case, the question is do I want to tell my very personal story to the world, or do I want people to understand and implement my idea?  Totally different things, that have different approaches – but I had been combining them in my mind.  What is it you ACTUALLY want? Splice that out from the story surrounding it.  The clearer you can get on this, the easier everything else flows.

What do you want the impact of your dream to be?
Who do you want to impact? How do you want it to feel? How will the world be different due to your dream being realized?

What else is possible? aka don’t be attached to old ideas
It’s hard not to have a Big Dream, and immediately latch on to what it will look like.  (See, Ellen’s Book Idea, which is a textbook example of this) In some cases, the impact and power of the dream is bigger than the initial idea.  Part of recalibration is realizing what ELSE is possible, because trust me, it’s a lot!

Don’t decide things 10 years out.
Please don’t pretend to know how the future will unfold – it’s not good for anyone! Sometimes we’re resistant to ideas because of weird assumptions about the future.  I was super resistant to a really good idea because “10 years from now, I don’t want to be running an online educational forum and database.” Which leads me to…

What are you really resisting?
I am not resistant to educational online forums – what I AM resisting is committing to a bricks and mortar job – i.e. having to BE somewhere specific to work.  I don’t understand the technology involved, so I resist.  I am also resisting creating something with significant start up resources needed, but that’s mostly because I don’t understand the investment-money-flow.  So I am actually resisting what I don’t understand, which is WAY different than where I started.  Now I just need to learn more.  You probably do too.

Don’t rush the process. 
Dream recalibration is a big deal.  It means letting go of old or outdated ways of thinking.  It means saying goodbye to the specific outcome you have been cherishing in your heart and holding in your mind. Take time for yourself.  Go where you brain is free to think and be inspired.  Eat good food.  Take care of yourself so your creativity can work for you.

Keep moving towards your dream.
Stick with it! The world is thirsty for it.  You are longing to create it.  There are many, many options for what it could look like/be like/act like.  Every time you recalibrate, you get closer to the truth of it, and your dream or Big Idea is stronger for it.  There are so many doors to open, so many paths to go down, let all of them be places of learning and discovery – as long as you’re moving, you’re in the process of dream realization, and I freaking LOVE it.

I’m not sure where I’ll land with my book, or what my Big Idea will look like – but I do know they’ll both be stronger and better than I imagined when I first got them lodged in my head.

How’s it going for you? What did you learn about yourself and your dreams through this process? I’d love to hear about it and support you!

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