Choices.  Decisions.  Options.  We’ve all got them.  Seeing them is not the problem, they stare us in the face every time we go to a boring job or a too-small apartment.  We live in a time where possibility is all around us, the jobs available, the people we can connect with online, the food we can get delivered to our house – it’s what to do with all the possibility that locks us up, paralyzing us with fear and indecision. Here are 6 ways to make better decisions, today. Ask yourself what you want This critically overlooked step is the most important.  We need to look within ourselves to ask what it is we want.  Often times the choices facing us are not what we want, yet we feel compelled to do what we think we ‘should’ do.  Instead of … Continue reading →

Confession time, everyone. Last week was a breakdown week.  It was an ugly, hard, messy week filled with many tears (and a box of cookies). This week is a breakthrough week. There are a billion metaphors for this concept, it is clearly nothing new.  Rainbow after the rain, light at the end of the tunnel, silver lining.  But for me, the knowledge that a breakdown will inexorably lead to breakthrough is the one thing that always gets me through the deepest and worst days.  It comforts me to know that after all the grief and sadness has started to ebb, something new will creep in.  Something unexpected will take me someplace new in my life will happen.   Sometimes I imagine being washed up on an unknown shore after being tossed around on a big ocean storm.  Emerging out of the … Continue reading →

How many times a day do you say ‘I don’t know’ – how many of you answered, ‘I don’t know’ to that question? We say it a lot.  We say it more than we realize.  And we often say it without really meaning it. I don’t know tends to be a smokescreen.  It’s an easier answer than speaking your truth – however painful or scary it might be.  It’s also easier to stop with a surface level ‘I don’t know’ instead of waiting, giving yourself a bit of time and space to dive deeper into what you really think, and what you really know.   So many people are afraid of what they’ll find out, or the consequences of their discovery.  It’s becoming an epidemic. It’s hard to own your feelings, your truths, your beliefs.  But it’s even harder to … Continue reading →

Parks and Recreation is one of my favorite shows on tv, ever.  When I’m sad or sick, I’ll re-watch episodes.  Sometimes the same season over and over.  It never fails to make me laugh and feel better about my life and the world.  (Although season 1 starts slow.  Give it time to bloom into season 2. It won’t take long.)  Yes it’s a good comedy and yes the actors are pretty fantastic, but why I love it with my whole heart, is the characters evolve.  They have life experiences, they learn lessons, and they grow from them.  Leslie Knope is a leading lady who has really stepped into her power, and changed a lot in her 5 seasons on tv.  I adore that. I get so sick of characters that stay stagnant, or do the same self-destructive thing every season.  … Continue reading →

We live in an era of too many choices.   We can do anything, we can be anything, and we can also do nothing.  It seems equally possible to to be a successful CEO as it is to play video games and live at home.   Most people I talk to have dreams.  They have ideas about how they might want to, one day, maybe, live their life. They are unsure of the next step to take, or what path to pursue.   They have an overwhelming feeling of the need to do something coupled with a deep fear and paralysis that stops them from doing anything. They are stuck in options overwhelm.  Too many choices often makes us fearful.  “What if I make the wrong one?”  A mediocre life/job/partnership seems better than the unknown, or worse doing the wrong thing. We play … Continue reading →

How many of you would like to improve a relationship in your life? With your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/roommate/parent/sibling/best friend? Hands up please. Look around, everyone else has their hand raised too.   We ALL want better, stronger, more meaningful relationships.  It’s a really basic part of being human.  We long to connect with one another.  And then our brains get in the way, and we hold ourselves back. I work with my clients on improving their relationships all the time, and not just their romantic ones.   Here’s the real deal: The only person you can change is yourself.  But you can make an open and inviting place next to you for anyone else who might also want to change along with you. What does that mean? It means you can’t force or require anyone to do things they don’t want to do.  You … Continue reading →