3 Steps to Build Your Confidence & Stop Struggling

June 20, 2014

{Guest post by my brilliant + talented sister, Alice Walker}

Last Sunday I was driving up a sunny, blissfully open freeway, windows down and the surrounding hills green and inviting. The weather was hot, and the cows that dappled the side of the road where all laying down, or jostling for the prime spot under stretched oak trees. A warm breeze picked up, and began to blow hard, whistling through the car window. I glanced up to the sky and saw a hawk (or similarly sized bird) hanging suspended mid-air. Its wings were flapping furiously, it was clearly working as hard as it could to stay in place, and not get knocked off course by the wind.

I was struck then, with how much easier the bird would have it if it simply extended its wings and let the warm air take it on its flight. It could go so much farther, with the wind at its back, only needing to work intermittently to stay afloat.

For all I know this hawk likely had a larger purpose, a prey in its sights it was waiting to pounce on, or maybe it just didn’t feel like getting pushed around. But one thing was for sure, this bird was killing itself to stay in place.

And I, driving by, with only a glance at the struggling bird couldn’t help but see myself in it. I have been that bird – trapped in the relentless tug of war to stay in place, to not make huge changes, to not soar into the unknown, because after all – the unknown is, scientifically speaking, scary as hell.

Sometimes, we get so stuck about the way our lives, or our business should be, that we fight tooth and nail against any winds of change that might knock us off course. Surely we – the type A’s, the planners, the executers, the entrepreneurs know best. We have made a life plan and we are going to stick to it no matter what.

When really all we need to do is feel the breeze, spread our wings and ride that wind current.

For some people, the concept of change comes so easily, they move from marketing strategy to content plan updating with ease – never doubting that the direction they are heading in is the right one. But for so many others the idea of changing from their original intent (think launching a new service line changing your target audience) can be terrifying at best and paralyzing at worst.

We working so hard to stay place we tire, we burnout, we don’t make and dang money.

I believe this all comes down to confidence.

Confidence in your business, in yourself and more than anything else confidence in your own intuition. When you are tuned into what your gut is telling you, and you believe in yourself and your vision, then you have to ability to let go. Take chances, take flight.

I have seen time and time again that the more people become confident in their own gut, the more wildly successful their business becomes. And it is so much easier than you think!

First step: start listening to yourself. When you have a new idea, or start to second guess your existing plan, take a moment.  Stop going on the internet to hide from your feelings or thoughts when new things come up for you.  Pay attention to your thoughts try and break yourself of the “bottle up and put aside” habit that becomes so ingrained in us as we get older.

Second step: start asking yourself quietly what you really think, and what you really want. Then, slowly at first – do that. Listen to what your intuition is telling you, then follow through on that and see how good it feels.

This doesn’t have to have anything to do with your business. Maybe your gut is telling you to flirt with the cute new barista at your coffee shop. Maybe it’s telling you to call an old friend.

Third step: take a beat and be proud of yourself! Notice how your gut got you to the end result you wanted all along.  Pat yourself on the back and watch as your confidence expands.

Rinse. Wash. Repeat. Soar.

IMG_0348Alice Walker is the founder of My Everyday Awesome, an inspiring podcast for busy women who want to live happier, healthier lives without quitting their jobs or spending a fortune. A lover of hot rollers, crochet, and binging on Netflix, she can often be trying out new and crazy health experiments to podcast about. You can check her out and listen to her podcast out here.

Put more you in your business

(regardless of your myers-brigg)

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