In the world of entrepreneurship, it’s easier and easier to go into business for yourself. There’s an online course for just about everything, and an incredible amount of free information if you have the patience to sift through it. The barriers to having your own business, even if it’s a side hustle, are minimal, and the promises of success are strong.
The problem is, you can’t learn your way out of low self-esteem, medium self-confidence, or a belief that you don’t deserve your big dreams. You can’t take an online course to help you change the way you fundamentally see yourself. The way you treat yourself, your beliefs about yourself, your potential, your worthiness of success, will become the bottleneck of your business, slowly constricting your path to business growth.
The biggest indicator of your business success, is your relationship to yourself.
If you don’t trust yourself, you’ll always be looking for outside validation to your ideas. Looking to others for approval on what to do next and spend too much time obsessing about what others are doing. You’ll over value others opinions and formulas, and abandon yourself in the process.
If you don’t believe you deserve success, you’ll undermine yourself at every critical step. While not always consciously, you’ll find yourself doing things that hold you back from the success you don’t think you deserve or can have.
If you don’t think you can handle the money, deserve the money, that money will change you for the worse, or whatever your specific money fear is, you better believe you won’t get the opportunity to prove yourself wrong.
Your beliefs about yourself become self-fulfilling prophecies.
As human beings, we love to be right, so we work hard to prove ourselves right. Those internal beliefs about ourselves and our fears become our marching orders, manifesting in our actions and non-actions. That internal navigation system, programed to keep you safe from “harm” takes over. I’ve seen the opposite side of this too – confident people who believe deeply in themselves making incredible strides towards the business they know is possible. This works both ways.
I have the privilege of working with a wide array of business owners, and again and again, it’s their own internal limitations and beliefs that are standing in-between them and their big dreams. When they invite me into their businesses and therefore, hearts and minds, this is where we start. This is exactly why I use Frequency as a tool to help them connect with and understand themselves in deeper ways.
We have to start with how they feel about themselves, how they connect with themselves, how they own their gifts. Because if I don’t support that part of them, all the strategy in the world won’t help them move past the limits they’ve imposed on themselves. Like a rubber band, they’ll keep snapping back into place.
There’s a magic that’s unlocked when someone owns their unique brilliance, and stops worrying about if other people see it too. Their connection to themselves is so strong, they are no longer looking for outside validation, and that makes them magnetic.
They radiate their vision and message for the world, they are clear on what they want and why they are going after it. They’re on fire. (Side note: this is true for dating as well)
Ready to feel like you’re on fire? To feel that grounded, connected, magical place and keep the rubber band’s pull at bay? Here are a few ways to nurture your relationship to yourself and start re-wiring that internal programming.
What version of future are you afraid of?
For example, some people think if they have a lot of money, they won’t have a fulfilling personal life, or everyone will want them to pay for things. Some people think that if they’re successful, they won’t have time for their family. What fear are you projecting into your future? Understanding that will help you work through it and stop avoiding it.
What’s the old belief or narrative that you have about yourself?
Often these are from our past — a situation that still has emotional charge, a traumatic situation we want to avoid repeating, or unkind words lodged in your brain. These can become the tail that wags the dog, asserting too much control over your present and future. Becoming aware of them is the first step to healing and diffusing the charge.
Remind yourself how you’ve changed and grown
Yes challenging things have happened in your life, but I’m betting you’ve learned and grown from them. It’s this part of us that often gets overlooked when the fear of the future kicks in. It’s important to spend time updating how you see yourself, reminding yourself that you’re not the same person you used to be. You’ve got more tools in your toolbox now.
Spend time with yourself
It’s through quality time that relationships grow, and your relationship with yourself is no exception. In this busy, plugged in, overbooked world, it’s easy to forget to spend time with ourselves. Pick something that works for you, that feels good and makes you want to do more of it. Meditation, guided meditation, dancing, journaling, long walks w/o your phone, whatever your quality time is, make sure you’re getting it.
Through releasing the charge of the past and strengthening your relationship to your present self, you’ll start to have a much clearer connection to your brilliance, your knowing, and your trust in yourself.
That’s when the magic is unlocked, and that’s when you stop being the weakest link in your business, and start becoming your greatest asset, an unstoppable force for your mission and vision in the world.